Or Gotham's Ten Grooming Commandments
Learn these rules, break them, and make your own.
- Bloodshot eyes in the workplace make you look like demon incarnate. Use Rhoto V Redness Reducing Eye Drops (~$8) to keep your peepers bright.
- I don’t like to keep my hair too “done.” (Too sacrosanct.) Think disheveled, but intentional.
- If you can look back on your clothes, hair, or makeup in 10 years and cringe at its outdatedness, scale it back. “Trendy” implies an expiration date.
- If you’re like me and wear a ton of jewelry, keep it sentimental. Heirloom pieces and distressed silvers. It keeps you looking like Philip Crangi instead of Riff Raff.
- Guys looking to wear a bit of makeup should skip under eye concealer. It never looks natural and always looks nuts without a full face of pancake makeup.
- My most divisive commandment: If you can, skip deodorant. A little musk never hurt anyone. If you are a big sweater, opt for a natural antiperspirant. While on the subject of scent: less is always more.
- Keep your nails cut short. Long nails are for scratching tally marks into the wall of a Middle Age Era dungeon.
- I wear blue everyday. Pick a uniform and wear it until it feels like second nature. It makes the hideous act of robing in the morning marginally less laborious.
- Short sleeves should stop before the widest part of your bicep. That sleeve length that hits at the elbow gives off “off-duty cop at barbecue” vibes.
- Vape at your own discretion.